My Beautiful Boy,
I want you to know that from the time I was pregnant with you I fought for you and since then I have never EVER given up.
I had pre-eclampsia, I was so very sick they told me that maybe we should choose; your life or mine. Never mine. You were premature, this teeny tiny little creature with long arms and long legs that were so so skinny. You had no hair, no eyebrows or eyelashes but wow, did you have guts. 10 days was all you spent in the special care nursery.
Watching you grow up is so bittersweet, I feel so much pride every single time you achieve something - anything but then it feels like you're growing up way too fast and I need it to stop, slow down.
The last time I saw you (just last week) we did the things we always do. You annoyed your little brother and sister, they annoyed you. You loved your little brother and sister, they loved you. We made plans for this coming weekend, your brother's birthday. We watched The Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy. We wandered through Mod Cons and Zing and pointed out all the things we would buy should one day we be rich. We visited the chocolate factory and you loaded up on the white chocolate. Normal, fun, business as usual.
We chatted on Saturday for your birthday, we made plans for the weekend coming and we expressed our love.
Last night a big change happened, our biggest yet and whilst they are fussing about shit they don't need to be my fuss is for you. Are you ok? I wish I could wrap my arms around you and just let you cry. I wish that you weren't in the situation you are in right now. I wish you felt it was ok to say, I love my Mum.
I will never give up son, I am fighting for you. It is not ok that you're going through this and I will find a way to make it stop. I also want you to know that I get it, I know that you love me.
Mumma xoxo
I want you to know that from the time I was pregnant with you I fought for you and since then I have never EVER given up.
I had pre-eclampsia, I was so very sick they told me that maybe we should choose; your life or mine. Never mine. You were premature, this teeny tiny little creature with long arms and long legs that were so so skinny. You had no hair, no eyebrows or eyelashes but wow, did you have guts. 10 days was all you spent in the special care nursery.
Watching you grow up is so bittersweet, I feel so much pride every single time you achieve something - anything but then it feels like you're growing up way too fast and I need it to stop, slow down.
The last time I saw you (just last week) we did the things we always do. You annoyed your little brother and sister, they annoyed you. You loved your little brother and sister, they loved you. We made plans for this coming weekend, your brother's birthday. We watched The Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy. We wandered through Mod Cons and Zing and pointed out all the things we would buy should one day we be rich. We visited the chocolate factory and you loaded up on the white chocolate. Normal, fun, business as usual.
We chatted on Saturday for your birthday, we made plans for the weekend coming and we expressed our love.
Last night a big change happened, our biggest yet and whilst they are fussing about shit they don't need to be my fuss is for you. Are you ok? I wish I could wrap my arms around you and just let you cry. I wish that you weren't in the situation you are in right now. I wish you felt it was ok to say, I love my Mum.
I will never give up son, I am fighting for you. It is not ok that you're going through this and I will find a way to make it stop. I also want you to know that I get it, I know that you love me.
Mumma xoxo