I'm not sure how everyone else's brain works (to be honest, I don't really know how mine works either) but for me there are certain words/names that my mind automatically creates a picture for. For instance, the word BULLY brings to mind young kids. Primary school, maybe the first few years of highschool. Kids that are insecure in themselves and so they turn to others, terrorising them in an attempt to make themselves feel better. More superior.
Clearly, my mind is wrong. Bullying is not age restricted, it's not left in the schoolyard and boy, did I have a wonderful experience just recently.
For several years I was a member of a Facebook group and all it's reincarnations. I joined it because I was attracted to the healthy image it seemed to promote. Fans of a particular designer who also shared make up tips, parenting advice, a place to go to and vent all your woes. I made some lovely facebook friends from that group and a couple of awesome 'real life' friends. Along the way I also met some shitful people but I guess as in all areas of life there are shitful people everywhere. Occasionally I'd see posts that discussed certain chaos that had happened the previous night or at some point during the day to which someone (or several someones) were evicted from the group. There'd be screenshots maybe of things the evictees had said either in private messages or on their personal pages and eventually the group would get over it. I found that I'd miss out on the saga and just catch the post that said, blah blah is not in the group anymore.
Administration would organise things like secret santa and everyone would have fun finding gifts to send to their recipient. I participated two years in a row and here is where the bullying stemmed. Towards the end of last year everything fell down. Pop passed away, the Slayer and autism were (are) full on, my Dad spent time in hospital, my friend was found dead in her shower, and I had extra chaos from the Superhero's father. On top of that, was the normal Christmas chaos. I had three different secret santa gifts to buy and each were quite different. The girl I had to buy for in this particular group liked tea and so I visited our local T2. That gift was sent off during the week of the 10th December and I heard nothing more. During this period I didn't spend a huge amount of time on facebook so I didn't really keep up to date with what was happening in that group. At some point I did read a post someone had put up about where people live and meeting up. I put a comment up just saying something like please be careful there are some super unpleasant people in this world, I had experienced it but that I had also made some beautiful friendships. I copped a mouthful of nasty from an admin and told I was being inappropriate and I should delete my post... wow! I let it go and a couple of weeks later a friend put a pic up that was taken by a stranger on the beach. The picture had a nasty comment and was of my friend and her family. She felt humiliated and had put it up in the group. That particular admin decided she had zero interest in that post and deleted it twice before making a rude comment when my friend posted it for a third time. By now I realised that this group was no longer the place I had thought it was and I left. Fast forward a few days later and I had spent time in hospital with the Superhero and the Slayer's autism assessment was coming and I wanted to create a place where I could vent or try to find the funny side of the situation that I was in with the kids. I made a group and invited those I was friends with. I was then greeted by the nastiest, filthiest post. In it I was called a cunt and a waste of space and air... what the fuck? Seems that my secret santa girl hadn't received my gift and so it was said that I hadn't sent it and this was the reason I had left the group. Apparently there was a whole collection of vile comments about me... from people I do not know... again, what the fuck? I was told that there were messages sent to me asking me what's up and I didn't reply, I found one message in my message request box to which I responded to. In the meantime a screen shot was taken of my page, posted in that group and another barrage of comments were made. All quite disgusting, all by grown up women (most who have children) and none of them anyone I actually know. One woman went so far as to say that she had done me some kind of favour and I had treated her badly in return. I was absolutely infuriated and you can bet your arse that I stood up for myself and had something to say to both admin of this group and the girl who did me a "favour".
So, here's my thinking. If these women find it perfectly natural to be bullies, and plainly and simply that's exactly what they are doing, then it seems quite easy to work out why our world is filled with so much violence against women. I am 36 years old, I have children who I am trying to teach to be kind, decent human beings and yet I'm battling my own bullies. Calling me a cunt is not something I'm overly fussed by, it's one of my favourite words and I use it often. Saying I'm an oxygen thief and a waste of space is not something I will tolerate because if you look at what these terms are saying it's that I should be dead. Is that ok? A collection of grown up females, some of which are mothers themselves, wishing death to another human being. Why is that ok? If it was a man saying these things about a woman there would be hell to pay and yet it's encouraged in this group. I can now say that I survived domestic violence and female-led cyber bullying.
To the women who jumped onto something they knew nothing of and felt the need to spew filth I hope you take the time to consider your actions and feel a sense of shame in who you are as a person in real life and who you are as a role model to your own children. I am not afraid of The Hell Bunny Den.
Clearly, my mind is wrong. Bullying is not age restricted, it's not left in the schoolyard and boy, did I have a wonderful experience just recently.
For several years I was a member of a Facebook group and all it's reincarnations. I joined it because I was attracted to the healthy image it seemed to promote. Fans of a particular designer who also shared make up tips, parenting advice, a place to go to and vent all your woes. I made some lovely facebook friends from that group and a couple of awesome 'real life' friends. Along the way I also met some shitful people but I guess as in all areas of life there are shitful people everywhere. Occasionally I'd see posts that discussed certain chaos that had happened the previous night or at some point during the day to which someone (or several someones) were evicted from the group. There'd be screenshots maybe of things the evictees had said either in private messages or on their personal pages and eventually the group would get over it. I found that I'd miss out on the saga and just catch the post that said, blah blah is not in the group anymore.
Administration would organise things like secret santa and everyone would have fun finding gifts to send to their recipient. I participated two years in a row and here is where the bullying stemmed. Towards the end of last year everything fell down. Pop passed away, the Slayer and autism were (are) full on, my Dad spent time in hospital, my friend was found dead in her shower, and I had extra chaos from the Superhero's father. On top of that, was the normal Christmas chaos. I had three different secret santa gifts to buy and each were quite different. The girl I had to buy for in this particular group liked tea and so I visited our local T2. That gift was sent off during the week of the 10th December and I heard nothing more. During this period I didn't spend a huge amount of time on facebook so I didn't really keep up to date with what was happening in that group. At some point I did read a post someone had put up about where people live and meeting up. I put a comment up just saying something like please be careful there are some super unpleasant people in this world, I had experienced it but that I had also made some beautiful friendships. I copped a mouthful of nasty from an admin and told I was being inappropriate and I should delete my post... wow! I let it go and a couple of weeks later a friend put a pic up that was taken by a stranger on the beach. The picture had a nasty comment and was of my friend and her family. She felt humiliated and had put it up in the group. That particular admin decided she had zero interest in that post and deleted it twice before making a rude comment when my friend posted it for a third time. By now I realised that this group was no longer the place I had thought it was and I left. Fast forward a few days later and I had spent time in hospital with the Superhero and the Slayer's autism assessment was coming and I wanted to create a place where I could vent or try to find the funny side of the situation that I was in with the kids. I made a group and invited those I was friends with. I was then greeted by the nastiest, filthiest post. In it I was called a cunt and a waste of space and air... what the fuck? Seems that my secret santa girl hadn't received my gift and so it was said that I hadn't sent it and this was the reason I had left the group. Apparently there was a whole collection of vile comments about me... from people I do not know... again, what the fuck? I was told that there were messages sent to me asking me what's up and I didn't reply, I found one message in my message request box to which I responded to. In the meantime a screen shot was taken of my page, posted in that group and another barrage of comments were made. All quite disgusting, all by grown up women (most who have children) and none of them anyone I actually know. One woman went so far as to say that she had done me some kind of favour and I had treated her badly in return. I was absolutely infuriated and you can bet your arse that I stood up for myself and had something to say to both admin of this group and the girl who did me a "favour".
So, here's my thinking. If these women find it perfectly natural to be bullies, and plainly and simply that's exactly what they are doing, then it seems quite easy to work out why our world is filled with so much violence against women. I am 36 years old, I have children who I am trying to teach to be kind, decent human beings and yet I'm battling my own bullies. Calling me a cunt is not something I'm overly fussed by, it's one of my favourite words and I use it often. Saying I'm an oxygen thief and a waste of space is not something I will tolerate because if you look at what these terms are saying it's that I should be dead. Is that ok? A collection of grown up females, some of which are mothers themselves, wishing death to another human being. Why is that ok? If it was a man saying these things about a woman there would be hell to pay and yet it's encouraged in this group. I can now say that I survived domestic violence and female-led cyber bullying.
To the women who jumped onto something they knew nothing of and felt the need to spew filth I hope you take the time to consider your actions and feel a sense of shame in who you are as a person in real life and who you are as a role model to your own children. I am not afraid of The Hell Bunny Den.